Cosmic Humor
No sooner do I commit to blogging about my victories over anxiety than I find myself overtaken by a series of anxiety attacks. The universe has a sense of humor like that. Whatever you don't want to happen, will happen. Whatever you're sure won't happen, will happen.
That comes back to my greater lesson of controlling what you can and letting go of what you can't.
So instead of all the fun stuff I had planned to be posting all this time, I'm going to share a lesson I learned this weekend while sorting my clothes.
I have known for years that I have too many pants. I have all the basics: jeans, black pants, navy pants, light pants, khaki pants, and I wear none of them. Every time I do laundry and have to stuff a pair of unwilling pants into a drawer I vow to actually wear them this time. And every time I go back to wearing the same comfortable thick reliable pair of black pants that goes with everything and I don't have to think about.
This weekend I had had enough. I was going to get rid of any pair of pants that didn't fit. So I tried on every pair of pants I owned and it made me realize: the problem is not the number of pants. It is the black pants. And the black pants? They don't fit anymore either. They're just comfortable. They came from before my big weight loss and while they still stay up and don't hang down to my knees they don't look good.
And that cracked the whole problem open for me. The problem with wearing all the pants wasn't all the other pairs of pants, it was the pair I always wore. Once those are out the door I HAVE to wear the pants that never get worn. I have to make it work.
That is true of so much of my life, and I am forever re-discovering that. What is really keeping me from taking that leap and doing that next thing? It's not the thing itself but the fear of losing the security of what I already know.
This lesson applies to so many parts of your life. The job you have and hate is safer than the job you want and aren't sure you'll get. The boyfriend you just aren't that into is safer than being single again and being afraid of being alone. The apartment you live in stinks but who wants to shop for apartments? But if you lost the job you hate, the boyfriend you don't care about, and the apartment, would you be happier? And why are we messed up like that?
Because the universe is evil, that's why.
Scheduling posts to go out every Wednesday from now on. And since it's on Habitica, you know I'll do it. I will write about Habitica itself soon.
That comes back to my greater lesson of controlling what you can and letting go of what you can't.
So instead of all the fun stuff I had planned to be posting all this time, I'm going to share a lesson I learned this weekend while sorting my clothes.
This weekend I had had enough. I was going to get rid of any pair of pants that didn't fit. So I tried on every pair of pants I owned and it made me realize: the problem is not the number of pants. It is the black pants. And the black pants? They don't fit anymore either. They're just comfortable. They came from before my big weight loss and while they still stay up and don't hang down to my knees they don't look good.
And that cracked the whole problem open for me. The problem with wearing all the pants wasn't all the other pairs of pants, it was the pair I always wore. Once those are out the door I HAVE to wear the pants that never get worn. I have to make it work.
That is true of so much of my life, and I am forever re-discovering that. What is really keeping me from taking that leap and doing that next thing? It's not the thing itself but the fear of losing the security of what I already know.
This lesson applies to so many parts of your life. The job you have and hate is safer than the job you want and aren't sure you'll get. The boyfriend you just aren't that into is safer than being single again and being afraid of being alone. The apartment you live in stinks but who wants to shop for apartments? But if you lost the job you hate, the boyfriend you don't care about, and the apartment, would you be happier? And why are we messed up like that?
Because the universe is evil, that's why.
Scheduling posts to go out every Wednesday from now on. And since it's on Habitica, you know I'll do it. I will write about Habitica itself soon.
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